this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
