Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
