Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
