so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
