As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
