1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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