are you still at the devil's house?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
