Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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