Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
