I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
