Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
