garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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