wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
