Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
