me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
