My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
