I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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