i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Acid is not a monday night drug
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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