I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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