How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
