So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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