kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
