Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
