I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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