Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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