I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
