Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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