On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
