never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
