this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
