I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
