I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
