Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
