You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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