you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
