I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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