Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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