also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
