just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
