Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
