Whod you bang
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
