I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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