So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
