If that was your dad, he is hot
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
