Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just had sex on a roof
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
