i think my tv is drunk
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
