I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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