True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
