So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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