the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
