She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
