oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
