if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
